Well, here we are 7.31am on my far too old birthday - or far too young perhaps? Too old is not possible otherwise I wouldn't be here I would be walking around on a zimmer frame, sitting in a wheelchair or quite simply lying in bed in a care home so that's not the case is it? Too young? well perhaps but who can say? where did these sentences come from in the first place - ah ha yes I remember, my Mum and Dad used to say "you're too young to wear make-up" " you're too young to go out with boys" "When you're old enough I will tell you" "you're too young to understand" and the rest so it's their fault we always think we are too young in the first place but then as we grow older people start to tell us "don't you think you are too old to be wearing am ini skirt?", "you are far too old to be doing silly things like that", "People you're age should know better", well there we have it, we are always too young or too old I guess if we believe, listen to and accept what everyone else tells us in this life, but if we choose not to believe everyone else and simply be ourselves and believe what we feel is right, make our own decisions, follow our hearts, dreams and passions then we will never be either too old or too young will we?

I realised last night that I am not the age I am celebrating today but a year older!! that made me really depressed, so long on the planet and what have I done to date? Wrinkles starting and the grey hair only covered by chemicals - what a depressing thought, but then if you look at it the other way around, I have all those years of experience, all the years of memories, the good and the bad. I have the wrinkles that give me character and show I am alive and the grey hairs to remind me that life is constantly changing and we are constantly changing with it.

All these things put together makes me realise that I have had so much, enjoyed so much, learnt so much but that there is still so much more to enjoy, to learn, to experience and we should never forget that from the very moment we are born we are working our way towards our death and instead of moaning and groaning and worrying and trying to work out whether we should or shouldn't, we should simply DO IT and DO IT NOW, because we never know how many more nows we have left or how many nows we will be putting behind us again do we?

My birthday this year is a bit strange and very different to other years as for the very first time I am here all on my own all day - no don't feel sorry for me or say AAAaaah - it's not because no-one cares or I don't have anyone special in my life, it's simply because they are all busy and at work today - so really it is them that we should be saying aaah too bless them - I have all day to do whatever I want to do, a little or a lot, the choice is totally mine - they don't have that choice today because they are working. So I am the lucky one all on my own on my birthday - no-one to moan at me, no-one to tell me your too young to do that, or you're too old to be doing that. No-one to worry about all day long except myself wow now that does make a change.

Writing this blog also makes me realise that I have so many things in my ind that I don't normally take the time to think about, and that I really should start a diary again - I think I tried that as a teenager and then again everytime I felt crap or down - its a great way to vent your feelings and put things into perspective and I just keep forgetting how good it is to write about things, even if they are absolute rubbish.

Well, its now 7.48 and I've been writing for 15minutes already and actually feel so much better now and think that if I sat here all day writing I could probably put everything into perspective, sort out all my problems and tell the world about everything but that is just going to bore people and stop me from takign action today and then everyone will be home and wanting my attention and to take me out to dinner and bring me cards and presents and I will be wishing I had done some tidying, had a long soak in the bath, eaten my favourite foods, and so much more whilst I had the time and space to do it with no-one here to bother me so I guess it's time to stop writing and go and do some great things for hte day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to everyone :)